Blame

Every person is the architect of their life. We dream it, then visualize it and think about ways on how to make it happen, we then act on it, we make it to the best of our abilities. It is only after we build it we may see it wasn’t what we wanted. So we look onto someone to blame. Think about it. Isn’t that the easiest thing to do?  To blame someone for your downfalls?
As soon as something goes wrong they look for someone or something to blame. They’re the ones who might ask themselves "who is it to blame?" rather than asking "what went wrong?" Ever been with someone who blames you for everything?  Unfortunately I have. It’s something that replays in my mind all the time.
I just don’t get it. He said I don’t motivate him. Yet, I shared his sacrifice. I rolled up my sleeves and did it with him, we shared the load. But it’s not motivation that makes the objective real. When our goals are real, the drive to take action flows naturally. Truth is, I believe his situation should’ve been the reason for motivation. His kids, his family, his desires. What is more motivational than that? I can say based on what I see and what I’ve learned from all of this is that I take the blame for not being more inspirational. I should’ve tapped into his values and desires changing the way he thought and felt about himself so that he can make a positive change and draw out the motivation he desperately sought. Maybe I should’ve given him a challenge to exert his creativity so that he can achieve what he believed was possible. But it's too late now.  He needs to stop being so resentful for the wrong reasons and having the wrong attitude about the way things were. He needs to stop holding on to that past and come to terms with it. Guess some people have the tendency to use blame in order to explain their losses, troubles and failures in life. 
Maybe you're driven by a sense of guilt or fear and blame others in order to distract or deflect attention from your self. When you own your mistakes and blame yourself you actually learn from it. It becomes a lesson and one you don’t replicate.
Taking responsibility for one's actions requires a lot of strength of moral character that unfortunately not everyone possess. And definitely not you. 
It’s easy to play the blame game because its harder to look from within. But if you just pause and ask yourself how is it that things turned out that way,  you might just find the answer. 
You can't control what others do but you can take responsibility for what it is you do. When you realize your problems are your own, you learn to come to terms with the choices you’ve made that brought you to the situation you’re in now. You also realize that those choices played a part in shaping your destiny. Which for the most part, is something you have some control over.
If you need me to help you point the finger in the right direction let me know. But in the meantime, please stop blaming me for your downfalls, your mistakes, your lies, your betrayal, your infidelity and so on.
Who considers you the reason for their downfalls?
 ©

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.
J. Michael Straczynski